I have been fearful of compassion fatigue because of my inability to deal with the serious mental distress of others- a very difficult problem for a conscientious mental health worker. My coping mechanisms have decreased and I am tearful and unable to clearly see a way through others' fog. I have realised that my traumatic experiences have decreased my coping abilities because it has increased my sensitivity. My experiences have not desensitised me but have hyper-sensitised me to the point of fragility. This probably also explains new humanist-based thoughts about ethical vegetarianism and my other responsibilities as an atheist.
I think I need to simplify and prioritise.
Previously life was just lived. Now it has to be worked at.
Because there is no fatalism, because there is no creator directing me, I must create my own path, autonomously and with considered self-governing. Because I reject all religions I have responsibilities as an atheist. It is not enough to float through the waters being directed by the flow of my environment. I have responsibility to myself. I also have responsibility to those I love and who love me. Also to the community around me- my street and town, all other living organisms and the physical planet.
To myself, to live flourishingly and with consideration (as Aristotle would encourage me). To those I love and who love me, to ameliorate distress, to make safe, to encourage growth. To the wider world, to leave as small a footprint as possible, to cause no violence.
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