How to empathise:
1. Imagine how they feel- weigh and consider their experience and picture yourself there
2. Extrapolate from your own experience- eg. you may not know grief but you know loss. Use those feelings to connect
3. Be warm and genuine- it is obvious if you are not
How to listen:
1. Be quiet. You should be able to silently recite and review what someone has just said
2. Allow the space between you to be the 3rd participant in your relationship (silent, angry, reflective, etc)
3. You are not a passive recipient, you are an active participant
How to manage grief:
1. Embrace it. It is a normal reaction to a universal experience, you will survive
2. Practice self-care. Do what you enjoy and what helps
3. Make no big decisions for a year
4. Be honest about how you feel
How to find nice people:
1. Practice unconditional self-regard - your relationships are a reflection of how you feel about yourself
2. Be flexible and tender
3. Know that you see the world how you are, not how it is
How to live well:
1. Consider how you want to live- in fear, with love, playfully, intensely, etc.
2. Disregard that which is out of your control
3. Be kind, always. You will never regret this
4. Contribute
5. Connect with others
How to have courage:
1. Adjust your parameters. Sometimes it is courageous simply to get up on a morning
2. Make achievable small steps.
3. Slow down, even to a crawl, but don't stop
4. No pressure. Goals are not necessary but may be helpful to some
How to feel safe:
1. Appreciate that your perception may not be the same as reality
2. Know that you will get through adversity. Always.
3. Hone your bullshit detector
4. Look for helpers, they are always there.
How to not feel guilty:
1. Know you have earned the right to be free of guilt
2. Let go of things that are out of your control
3. Be realistic about your goals and responsibilities
4. Be tender but firm with yourself when asserting your autonomy
How to have fewer regrets on your deathbed:
1. Work less unless it brings you immense joy
2. Connect more. The endeavour is worth it
3. Do stuff. You will regret inaction
4. Be yourself not the person others expect you to be
5. Allow yourself to be happy
How to feel a type of happiness:
1. Love
2. Be unafraid
3. Enjoy subjective beauty.
4. Contribute and create
5. Be silly
6. Question all authority
7. Advocate for, and empower, others
8. Take no bullshit
9. Take active steps to do good
10. Remember that everything passes
