Me and humanism

I have always been a humanist without really connecting the term to the way I think and act. I have read all the major religious texts and many books about theism and atheism and, although I went to religious schools, church choir, an occasional bible class and church Sunday school I have never been able to accept religious dogma. By definition modern humanists explicitly reject all forms of supernaturalism which means, to my wife Claire and I, relying on non-religious, human-centred remembrance for Ruby's funeral.
After Ruby died I was in shock for months. I was insightful enough, as a mental health worker, to know I was in shock and so I put a vague plan into place to help me cope when the shock wore off- I made a mental note of literary, philosophical and psychological ideas that may be of use. I looked to ancient philosophy and modern humanism (two peas in a pod, really) as my main focus.
This sounds more fancy than the reality! Actually I had barely read a word about philosophy before then and had never used the term "humanism" but even the briefest initial flirtation with Stoicism resonated greatly. It all had huge potential.
Humanism, to me, is about living with thoughtful consideration and not simply coasting through
life. It is about putting the effort into thinking about how to live as ethically as is practical for me, my family, the wider circle of friends and acquaintances and also towards neighbours, strangers, the rest of the world and all living organisms. I'm making no hippyish rant here but genuinely believe I have responsibilities to everyone and everything to a greater or lesser extent. This, to me, is simple logic. eg. I don't sweep away tiny organisms in front of me as I walk along the pavement to avoid killing them but I don't eat meat. I have a job that means I often have to drive a polluting car but whenever I can I cycle.
Mostly, humanism has become a sensible and useful framework to help build and guide thoughts and ideas about what I should do about grief, death and living as well as about friends, work/life balance, prioritising passions and interest, etc.  For example, the focus of Ruby's funeral was not about any kind of afterlife or being with any god but about the quality of life she had and the people we have all become because of her presence and influence in ours. We are who we are not because of desire for divine reward or fear of divine punishment but because we are hard wired to be altruistic, social, warm and loving. Ruby was each of these things and I know that, as an adult, I have to forget a great deal of the sophisticated social shield I have built (that we all build?) and return to a simple but thoughtful naivety to face what is really important- nurturing family love, being a good friend (that one is hard because I'm not very sociable), contributing to my community, doing as little harm and as much good as possible, whatever that may mean.
I often don't do it properly. I can be a rubbish friend, useless at keeping in touch. I have been known to take a nibble of a fish finger. I can be short tempered. I am shy at neighbourly acquaintance. But I am honestly trying very hard. Ruby is my role-model.