Why I love my children differently

I wanted to teach Ruby about feminism. I wanted to instill values of freedom of enquiry, reason and independence of mind with regards to encouraging the importance of equality and acceptable difference in others. I wanted to teach Ruby she was as valuable as any other human being and certainly of equal value, as accepted in societal norms, to any man. I wanted my girl to be a girl, whatever that means, and also to be a woman unafraid of anything, certainly no man. I wanted Ruby to be Ruby and not be subliminally moulded by persistent societal pressure into a sex-object or a victim or a prop or a foil.

I wanted to teach Ruby she had claim to as many of the planet's resources as any man and also the same responsibilities to its protection, immunity to punishment because of behaviour deemed unacceptable from a woman, impunity to gender-based economic inequality, absolute birth-control and corporeal autonomy. I wanted her to know that her gender should never, ever, hinder job prospects, relationship desires, travelling opportunities or education. She would be entitled to total exemption from restrictions placed on her because she was a woman. 

She could vote and therefore change the governing party of her country, a right that many people, particularly women, had fought and died for. 

I would have taught her online awareness of misogynist, faceless bullies and also the joy of online education and connection with billions of other people. 

I would have taught her that she could have been almost anything she wanted to be and the few things she couldn't be were not connected to her gender but the imperfect genes inherited from me. 

I would have taught her the value in being sceptical and questioning everything but particularly the patriarchal status quo. 

I would have taught her she was the most loveable woman in the world and that her heart could connect with anyone regardless of language, cultural difference, life experiences or geographical and psychic location and I would explain that although many people would want her heart, it was hers first. She wouldn't be giving it away but she would be sharing it. She would need to chose wisely. 

I would have taught her she would always be my baby, my first child, born in the early days of an intense, deep and obviously life-long love affair with her mum and that she was loved and was wanted more than air. She still is.